Father, My soul is ripped with riot
incited by my wicked diet.
"We Are What We Eat," said a wise old man!
Oh, if that's true, I'm a garbage can.
I want to rise on Judgment Day, that's plain!
but at my present weight, I'll need a crane.
So grant me strength, that I may not fall
into the clutches of cholesterol.
May my flesh with carrot-curls be dated,
that my soul may be poly unsaturated
And show me the light, that I may bear witness
to the President's Council on Physical Fitness.
And at oleomargarine I'll never mutter,
for the road to Hell is spread with butter.
And cream is cursed; and cake is awful;
and Satan is hiding in every waffle.
Mephistopheles lurks in provolone;
the Devil is in each slice of baloney,
Beelzebub is a chocolate drop,
and Lucifer is a lollipop.
Give me this day my daily slice
but, cut it thin and toast it twice.
I beg upon my dimpled knees,
deliver me from jujubees.
And when my days of trial are done,
and my war with malted milk is won,
Let me stand with Heavenly throng,
In a shining robe--size small & long.
I can do it! If You'll show to me,
the virtues of lettuce and celery.
If You'll teach me the evil of mayonnaise,
of pasta a la Milannaise, potatoes a la Lyonnaise
and crisp-fried chicken from the South.
Father, if you love me, shut my mouth.
Thanks and credit to Peter Ustinov the author of this marvellous poem
I went to the local store today to buy a pair of blue jeans, well I went there feeling quite happy and looking forward to getting a pair at half price as the last days of the sales were on and I havent bought a pair of jeans for years , well choosing a few from the display rail in various sizes I went off to the changing rooms to try them , ( thank goodness they were not those communal ones)
first pair wouldnt go past my knees , the next ones got past my knees but got halted by the excess butt I have , oh the last pair nearly got there but then failed to get zipped up to the top even though I was lying flat on the floor and trying to pull in my tummy muscles !
defeated I resigned myself to missing the bargain priced jeans and thought about heading off to the new club that opened just down the road to my house , 'Fat Fighters ' but then decided to buy myself some comfort food ( chocolate ) and a drink and go home and read the glossy magazine I bought , full of super slim models without an inch of fat to be seen , why do these publications never show women like me from every walk of life that are a little 'cuddly' and a little less than perfect( ok a lot )
the diet can start on Monday , but which monday of which year , who knows , anyone out there who reads my blog that knows some kind of diet that has tasty food and doesnt leave me starving can you please let me have it ....I want some blue jeans !
5 comments:
I need to get back on MY diet, that is, what I need to eat.
I really like this during the summer time: I slice up a couple apples, the firmer the better, leaving a little bit of peel on them (don't like too much, but I know it's good f/ me)put them in a sealable bowl, sprinkle a bit of cinnamon powder on the slices, then queeze the juice of a lemon over it all.
Two lemons will even do five apples if you want to make a big batch, there will almost always be some loose juice after it has set a while. The lemon keeps the apples from turning brown, too.
If I make 'em during the winter, I like them to be a little sweet, so I put a little dab of one of the safer artificial sweeteners, esp. if the apples I've used are tart. I also like a little more cinnamon when it's cold outside, too.
I seal 'em up, gently roll the container around to coat the apple slices with the cin/lemon mixture, then put 'em in the fridge. They're really refreshing as a snack during the hot part of the day. When I feel a little bit hungry and I know I shouldn't eat sweets or too many carbs, I munch on about a half-apple's worth.
I've also set there and eaten the entire bowl, too, but it's still nowhere near the carbs/calories in crisps and dip, choc. and ice cream.
Yum. -sigh-
I forget how many carbs and calories it has, it's not much and if you do away with the Splenda (what I use for sweet) or whatever brand or even sugar, there's nothing but natural sugars.
It gives me a nice little boost of fiber (fibre there, I suppose, but it's for the same reason, huh?) plus a goodly shot of vitamin C and whatever others an apple will have.
Sitting here thinking of it, I probably should zest off a bit of the lemon peel into it. I've also wondered if orange and apple would go together, wonder if some sliced strawberries would go well with the tart lemon.
I used to mistaken thirst for hunger, and found out coffee or tea doesn't quite satisfy as does plain ol' cool water.
That snack sounds absolutely wonderful, you know there is so much fruit available here in Cyprus and I am never really eating enough of it , well I do eat a lot of guava which is something I never tried until I came here, I love the smell of it alone ,
apples of course are always in stock at the fruit market and reading your post now I really am drooling ! I am sure going to give that combination a try , I wonder if honey would be too messy to add to the mmixture, I think so, well like you mentioned one of the sweetners will be fine, and I do like cinammon.
I think you are right sometimes I do the same and eat instead of drink, although I do drink a lot of water in general I believe I should have more of it .
I am guessing Mike that after you got diagnosed with your diabetes you paid much more attention to the things you were eating , well I know most of us get shocked into changing our eating habits, I had a slightly raised cholesterol and I have been thinking twice now of over indulging, but it was still the scenario in the changing rooms with the blue jeans that did it for me !
Thanks Mike for the tasty suggestion , I am going to get some apples today and try it.
Sure wish I would proof-read my posts a bit more before hitting "send". -sigh-
Yes, I sure have watched what I eat since finding out I have diabetes, but I also splurge now 'n then. Besides the usual villains I have to watch out for (candy and such), I really have to limit my intake of some of my favorite foods such as bread and potatoes, anything w/ a lot of carbs.
I think the main thing in a diet is getting enough water, and I realize just how hard that is to do. When I'm empty, drinking water makes me a bit nauseous for some reason...not really sick, but it just makes my hunger pains feel a little bit funky.
Thank you for posting my favorite poem of all time, but please give credit to beloved actor Peter Ustinov who wrote this and delivered it for all time on the Johnnie Carson show circa maybe 1971. I have that performance burned in my heart, and think about him oftem. Thanks
Oh I will go and ammend the post right now , I actually didnt know who wrote the poem and guess I should have tried to find out but didnt, thank you for pointing it out I will go put the credit on now.
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